Sunday Confessions





I confess: I am a couple of days late (to Sunday Confessions!) because we had a three day weekend at my in-laws. There were hints of spring in the air, walks to the local park, which sorry I did not take any pictures, there wasn't much to see but the crocuses were in bloom and also these tiny little iris things that were pretty. There was food, my god, so much food, that even when I say no to things I still feel like I am eating constantly there. I bought a new top for Pilates on a shopping trip with my aunt in law and mother in law, that motivated me to do some on Sunday morning in the spare guest room, and it felt really good, I even did the new torture my Pilates teacher introduced last week, down dog into plank into down dog, down to the ground and then up again, five times! I am a little sad Pilates is going on a break after next week (they break for school holidays but sometimes it lasts like a month), because I am finally feeling motivated to exercise again and just having that one class a week does give me an extra boost. So I will have to self motivate.

I confess: Not having to access to wi-fi for three days was...ok. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't miss it, especially when having to sit through Midsomer Murders without my usual distractions! But I made a heavy dent in my book, which I doubt I would have otherwise.

I confess: I am coming off the asthma pill Montelukast (also known by its brand name Singulair) for the second time in a year. The first time I went off it because I gained weight, like I'm not even kidding almost a stone (14lbs) in two weeks, with no other changes to my diet. This time the asthma nurse suggested it again, so I said to myself get over your vanity and take it, because it does help my asthma. So I've been on it since January. And since January I have felt...not great emotionally, off and on. Just low. Weepy. A few days last month were irretrievably flat, for no reason. I know it could be depression symptoms independent of this medication, but I don't know. This was a new feeling. Like I couldn't quite muster (much of) a front.

I know how I normally feel, and this is/(hopefully was) not it. I know this drug has known side effects of nightmares, and more and more reports of actual depression and in one known instance suicide. I only read about this after I looked in the mirror last week and saw that my eyebrows were falling out, and my hair has also been shedding abnormally. So of course I Googled the side effects and sure enough hair loss is a thing associated with this drug.

Of course as someone who lost my hair to chemo once maybe I am extra prone to freaking about this, but I am not cool with losing my eyebrows for the sake of breathing a little better. Or being sad most of the time if that is what is causing it. I also read that the hair loss could be thyroid related, which I am on a low dose of thyroid medication (thanks to radiotherapy), so if it doesn't improve after a month being off it I guess I will get my levels checked again.

Sorry if this is tmi but I just wanted to share my experience of being on this medication in case anyone else had similar problems with it. I don't know if it is psychosomatic or what but in the five days I've been off of it I've woken up earlier (you take it at night and it does knock you out and make you have lots of weird dreams), and not felt nearly so low. I try not to be one of these super paranoid "The big pharmaceuticals are after us" types, but it is scary how many drugs are prescribed without real knowledge or publication of the potentially harmful side effects.

I read that the patent for this drug is expiring, so I am curious to see what happens as there is quite a movement online now of parents in particular who are not happy with the effects this medication has had on their children. I think adults with asthma are maybe so used to dealing with various side effects that we don't question things as much. I mean, I knew my body didn't like this medicine, but I still went back on it anyway.

Anyway that turned out longer than I meant for a Sunday Confession, sorry! Do search out the Sunday Confessions link ups through Becky/online/join in your self!


I took this pic of a lamb last May in the Highlands, just wanted to put up a cheerful Spring pic, I am so ready for it!

8 comments

  1. I love posts like this. I always like getting to know bloggers beyond the standard posts! Not having wifi can be a great thing and how scary about the asthma medication! Glad you looked into it sooner rather than later. XO -Kim
    www.thethirtysomethinglife.com

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    1. Hi, thanks for stopping by! Sunday Confessions is great personal blog post weekly link up if you are interested :-)Steff x

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  2. I hope it goes well and you start to feel better. Xxx

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    1. Thanks Elinor :-) I think (hope) it was the medicine. I d feel better already, I think. If my hair loss improves I am going to take that as a sign this drug was definitely the culprit. xx

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  3. Medications aren't given a long enough trail to really know all the effects, I don't think. They rush them out too fast. There is just so much they don't know! Like, the medication for eye lash growth was meant to be eye drops for something else, but the side effect was longer lashes. So weird.

    I don't know when was the last time I went more than a day without internet. I'm sure I could manage. But do I want to? lols.

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    1. I used to work in the legal dept. of a big pharmaceutical (begins with P) in NY, so I am maybe a little bit more suspicious/aware than I would have been otherwise! I remember reading that about the eyelash stuff, weird! I might have to try some eyebrow serum though to help my brows come back! :-0

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  4. This was actually a great post, and I didn't feel like it was TMI at all. I like getting to know things about my blogger friends that are different than the usual. (Although, this from the woman who shared multiple posts about ongoing UTI's and also cartoons of urine samples, so....) I don't know, I just kind of sometimes enjoy this "real world" stuff. I mean, of course your blog is all real world stuff, but sometimes it's almost easier to either talk about the deep feelings, struggling with S.A.D., things that really get our goat than it is to talk about everyday things that aren't entirely pleasant. (This post wasn't unpleasant, just...you know what I mean.) :)
    I cannot talk/type normally today.
    But I did enjoy this post and I'm glad you shared it - ESPECIALLY because I am going in for asthma testing on Thursday and I've been prescribed an inhaler...don't know how much further it will go, but my "asthma journey" is just beginning.
    Anyway - it wasn't TMI and this was a good post. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. ;)

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    1. Aw, thanks Becky! I always feel like I want my Sunday Confessions to be more light-hearted/funny. I don't think I would be a very good Catholic, I'd probably be cracking knock knock jokes at the priest through the partition! ;-0 Yeah I know what you mean. I have plenty of things I keep to myself, I try not to treat the blog TOO much like therapy, but if I'm dealing with something I think other people might be too, I figure why not! Hope your asthma check goes well. xo

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