Trump's Locker Room is Every Room He Enters



“Locker room talk”

CC Flickr photo c/o https://www.flickr.com/photos/vauvau/3986661629

“Just words”

The repeated defense of the indefensible words, yes, words, that Donald Trump spoke so casually 11 years ago at the ripe old age of almost 60. Had they been only just words they would still be indefensible. But they were not just words.

They were words describing actions that this Presidential nominee was proud to share. “I just kiss them, grab them by the (we all know what word he used by now, and while I’m not afraid of the word, I don’t want to reiterate his vulgarity in addressing women as a body part either). For Donald Trump, there is no such thing as a locker room - the world is his locker room, he is unafraid to trample over any other human being to get what he wants, period.

Let's lay it out in black and white. Trump's history with women:

He is a multiple accused rapist, including a statement by his ex wife under oath which she later retracted despite telling the story to many in horrific detail, with a particularly chilling aftermath of a gloating Trump.

He fat shames women unapologetically and often. 

He is unsurprisingly a total threat when it comes to women's reproductive rights.

He bullies and harasses women with whom he is publicly meant to be professional with – from stalking the stage like a petulant caged animal to try to intimidate Hillary Clinton when it was her turn to speak in their last debate, talking over her constantly, threatening her repeatedly, to his lovely interactions with female reporters. He is on no planet a good or respectful guy - if he acts this way in public, how on earth do you think he behaves in private?

But for me, what hits home the most are the women who have suffered abuse and sexual assault speaking out against him. I consider myself very lucky as a woman to have never experienced what I would consider serious physical or mental harm, and yet whenever I hear or see Trump be abusive or threatening towards women a very real part of me feels vulnerable and full of rage.

Because as a woman I have felt powerless and afraid on numerous occasions, because the "words" of men like Trump more often than not translate to actions, eventually, in the men who are encouraged or allowed to think them. In my life I have experienced:

-Sexual harassment at work of both the overt and subtle kind

-Unwanted verbal attention of a deeply offensive nature

-Unwanted physical contact on the subway, in crowds, anytime a man felt emboldened by anonymity to
touch me without my permission

-Complete strangers propositioning me for sex, in person and online

Sadly, we live in a world where my experiences are just a part of being a human female on earth. I feel like it’s gotten better in some ways for the Millenial generation, on an external/official level, but we still live in a world where women are exploited, sex trafficked, harassed, and murdered by their partners every day.

So NO, “Locker room talk” that entails bragging about touching a woman against her will is never, ever going to be ok with me. I have had to bite my tongue A FUCKING LOT (forgive me) on Facebook the past few days. It deeply saddens me to see women in particular defending a man bragging about sexually assaulting women, because yes, that is what he is doing, it doesn’t matter if you say it happened 11 years ago, when his entire campaign he has been demeaning women’s rights to have a voice about just about anything.

I remember the first day I went to work on a new temp job one sunny day in New York. My new boss invited me into his office, closed the door, and commenced "friendly" conversation. Within minutes he was asking me about my personal life, if I had a boyfriend, oh wasn't he lucky, and making uncomfortable jokes. And it wasn't that I felt afraid, per se, but I did feel...trapped. Like if I stayed I knew every day would be worse, because this guy clearly had no boundaries.

It's hard to describe, but I felt like an animal in the woods who needed to run away from a hunter as fast as I could. Because this man, my superior, had let me know that he was very happy to cross a line the minute he met me, and because he was the one in power there was little I could do about it. This was a small, family run company, and he had no superiors I could complain to even if I wanted to. His Dad had started the business (sound familiar?).

I phoned my agency during my lunch break, explaining I was uncomfortable and would like to be let out of the assignment. I had worked numerous other assignments for them to completion, with no complaints on either side. I was treated as if I was being "difficult" and basically forced into finishing the day.

My agency had in the meantime let the place know that I would not be continuing on with my assignment, which led to a very awkward exchange with the man in question, where he went from acting hurt/betrayed personally to giving me a bizarre little good luck speech as though he had known me forever/trying to pretend like it was all good. One of the receptionists pulled me aside and said "Don't feel bad, you're the third temp we've had this week!".

Everyone in that office knew there was a problem, my agency probably knew there was a problem and still they sent me in anyway, and I imagine other women after me. I would like to think things have gotten a bit better since then, but I think it's a good example of what can happen when we turn the other cheek when it comes to this stuff, so long as it's "just words". I never got a good assignment from that agency again despite having worked for them steadily for over a year. I was punished for not being more compliant.

And again, I know I was lucky, I know other women have suffered far worse, prolonged bouts of sexual harassment at work. I know we all put up with certain things, every day of our lives, just to get through.

No one has ever been this close to the White House who inspires and encourages such ignorance, racism, sexism and hatred. This does not make Trump some rebel fighting the system, it makes him a danger to us all, as women, and as a society that is willing to stand up for women when they have been maligned, abused, or otherwise harmed by men in positions of power especially.

Mr. Trump has clearly got away with doing whatever he pleases to whomever he pleases for his entire life.  There is no rational predicting of his behaviour, he is a complete loose canon, a career bankruptcy artist, a moral vacuum, an intellectual void, and for whatever reason we as a society have allowed him to get one step away from the most powerful job in the world, despite the fact that any everyday Joe with his history wouldn't be given a job at McDonald's. Pray for us all, or whatever else you got, because this is not a drill.


9 comments

  1. Well put. I can't believe women are defending him - I mean, I know they ARE, but I just can't get my head around it.

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    1. Thanks.It upsets me so much. The hatred some people nurture for Hillary has led to some seriously irrational attitudes happening when it comes to excusing Trump.

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  2. It's really surprising how his comments get so dismissed, like they don't matter or mean anything :( :( :( And the t shirts I've seen woman make, in SUPPORT of him (you can grab my *****!) NOOOOOOOO. This whole election is giving me so much stress. I really don't think Trump will last a year though, he will either quit, be impeached, or (at least attempted) assassinated.

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    1. I hope it doesn't come to that (him being elected) but I think you are right. I mean how can they swear in a guy for President while he is being investigated for multiple sexual assaults, including a minor?! The F*ck? Clinton was impeached for FIBBING about a consensual affair (yes it was dodgy as hell but we're not even in the same ballpark).

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  3. We did Brexit so it follows that Trump will get in because we seem to be following a path of total insanity in the world right now. I don't think he'll be assassinated (or attempted) because he's a mentalist of the far right so the kind of nut jobs who assassinate people will love him.

    Best of luck. I don't envy you and I don't envy us, the rest of the world, once he's in charge.

    Cheers

    MTM

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    1. Noooo! Let's get the Pan of Hamgee's thimble and teleport to Pan Am! (By the way I am finally getting stuck in to second book and will review it someday promise!):-)

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    2. Also anyone reading that comment and thinking "What odd gibberish is she speaking now?!" I am referring to MT McGuire's excellent YA/Sci-Fi series that she wrote, check out her stuff!

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  4. 1000% yes. I seriously have no idea how women can support him. Like, I get it: you're (not you-you, an abstract woman) pro-life. So that is VIRTUALLY the ONLY thing you are basing your choice on? SERIOUSLY? And that's it. A lot of women are basing their choice on that. Or, you know...old school "values" like bigotry, racism, hate, xenophobia, etc. This election is giving me an ulcer, I swear. I thought the stupids were out in the last two elections. I seriously am appalled by America. Logic once was on the down slide and now it seems like it seems to have gone out the window completely. Not to be too much of a basic bitch, but #I Can't Even.

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    1. Being able to vote in Florida next week is an interesting experience, I am seeing a lot of Trump signs, hoping the Hillary supporters are just being low key to avoid Trump idiots abusing their lawns. :-/

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