Sunday Confessions




I Confess: I didn't go to the Christmas market other than to take this picture!



I confess: I wrote a couple of posts this week and didn't publish them, mostly because they didn't feel upbeat or "Christmassy" enough. Being not subsumed with festive cheer yet is a funny old thing in the blogosphere. I have tried, I have decked my tree and felt momentarily cheerful at the familiar ornaments, some of which originate from childhood/were made by my Mom. I have listened to Harry Connick Jr. and felt festive for a bit, I had a lovely day gorging Christmas nibbles in the name of blogging science with two of my favourite local bloggers. But I also spent two days waiting in for parcels that didn't arrive, which makes me grumpy, plus I had my period, plus the asthma nurse told me I'd gotten even fatter last week, which at this point I feel sort of helpless about tbh. But we are meant to just be on autopilot Christmas Cheer mode in this last run up to the big day, and my Christmas Spirit*, in this 50 degree non-winter wonderland type atmosphere is not exactly overflowing in me yet.

I confess: I didn't win diddly in the Debenhams blogger competition, which I honestly would have been totally fine with....but as far as I could see (maybe I missed some but there weren't many) every other post save one was pretty much like mine, sans poem. The poem I came up with because the brief of the competition repeatedly said they wanted creativity/some sort of Christmas spin other than "Gimme all the things". The poem I spent a good deal of time writing and making sure was (mostly) in the exact same iambic pentameter, was all for naught. Lesson learned. I know I risk/am sounding like sour grapes here, but I do think it's worth saying that if a company is going to put out a request for something specific (they emailed me asking me to write the post), and then ignore that as a real deciding factor, I for one am not going to trust their p.r. requests again.

I confess: I feel guilty for the above rant because first world problems/ the world is a mess, but that again is just negating what we feel, like I am fully aware nothing I am going through is a drop in the bucket compared to so many people right now. Anyway another thing that made me mad this week was the cancellation of Good Girls Revolt: it's on Amazon Prime, which I know not a lot of people have, but it is so, so good, and so empowering and important a story, about real historical events of the female research staff demanding equal rights at a New York magazine (cough Newsweek) in the early 70's. It centers primarily on three women, on all aspects of their lives, and every little (but large) battle they fought that we take for granted today, in such a nuanced and often heartbreaking way. I lost count of the lump in throat/goosebumpy with inspiration moments it gave me, and from the sounds of Twitter and its numerous 5 star reviews on Amazon I was not alone.

This show was cancelled by Amazon (male) execs after only a month of streaming, apparently they "didn't get it" and wanted to know if season two could be "more of a comedy" according to this article in Vulture. And now every time I turn on my Kindle or Prime App all I see is Jeremy Clarkson's smug smarmy face and feel lots of rage at Amazon, more eloquently expressed in numerous think pieces but especially this one in The Atlantic. I really hope a miracle happens for this show and another network picks it up, do stream it if you can and tell me what you think, and maybe sign the petition too!


* I have written  a really rambling post about "What is Christmas Spirit?" and can we summon it by will etc. etc. (religion confusion existential anxst blah de blah....;-0) which I am not sure will add much to the conversation to be honest! Maybe I will start a newsletter, instead of listicles of awesome cute things like most hip newsletters it will be my tedious ramblings and assure other bloggers that they are not alone in writing dribble?!

9 comments

  1. I was SO PISSED OFF for you about the Debenhams thing. I saw your tweet and guessed what it was about and for heaven's sake, you wrote an entire poem. So yeah I think you are right to be annoyed. Sorry to hear you're not feeling the Christmas cheer. I have moments of being super festive and moments of being "aaaah the world is basically ending how can I be festive?!" so I know how you feel.

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    1. Ha ha thanks! It's honestly fine, someone else will have a really nice Christmas, I don't begrudge anyone who won. I will be a bit more skeptical about competitions run by big businesses from now on though (blogging lessons are never ending!). I have had moments of festive cheer, but they are fleeting. I think the weather is part of the problem too, it does not feel like December at all!

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  2. I'm sorry you didn't win anything, you really put forward some effort!

    And don't brush off your problems, you're allowed to have problems and feel bad. It's like, if you were feeling happy you wouldnt say well, there are people happier than me so I shouldn't be happy over this little thing? Weird, right? You can be sad about whatever makes you sad.

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    1. I think part of it is that December is also my "cancer-versary" (god do I hate that word!). So I am just extra conscious about moaning about stupid sh*t because I know life can be so much worse, I feel that sort of weird guilt about not being a grateful happy bunny just to be here. Why can't I be zen and postive 24/7 like everyone else on the internet lolz. ;-0

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  3. Ugh, those "invitation to take part in a competition" emails are such a con. If they want your writing, they'll either provide you with a product to review or they'll pay you; asking you to put a lot of effort in on the very slim chance of winning something is just plain rude!

    Oh, I just realised I still have your copy of Elf. No wonder you're not feeling festive!

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    1. I realize now I was naive, live and learn! I actually enjoyed writing it, and had that weird thing you get where you feel like you do something good/enjoy the process and it might pay off - you would think my acting days would have trained that right out of me! ;-) AND yes, at this point maybe a post Christmas meet/Elf swap is in order! I am ok with an actual child having it for Christmas day because I'm grown up like that ;-) (not that Matilda has any interest yet?)

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  4. Dude! That is awful about the Debenhams thing - that poem was badass!
    I feel like I want to write a long response but my brain is pounding and I don't have it in me. But know that this post - I feel you on it - 10,000%. Like, everything. (I'm actually still waiting on two gifts for people to arrive. Thank goodness they were smaller, not-the-main-thing gifts.

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    1. Ha thanks Becky, it means a lot to me that people liked it :-) xo

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    2. It was awesome! You are quite talented....

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