8 Fashion Things I Can't With


So we've finally been getting some vaguely Spring-like weather in Scotland, I even (crazily!) wore shorts over the weekend (I was freezing, it was like 65 degrees, we get carried away here!). Anyway I have been in the mood to freshen up my summer wardrobe, our past few summers here have been particularly lame heat/weather wise so my "summer" wardrobe has shrunk a bit.

My summer wardrobe has become mostly things I only wear when we visit Florida, it's just never hot enough here to wear most of it. But I am struggling a bit. Maybe it's age, or my size (I am talking about my own level of comfort here, I see people of all shapes rocking all sorts of looks that I personally wouldn't feel confident in) but lately I don't relate to so many of the fashion trends. Also while I am totally down with shopping plus size, the truth is I am often in between standard and plus sizes in shops, which I know there are worse problems to have but I often feel a bit stuck when shopping.

Anyway so I am left with Christmas/birthday money still unspent (what) because I just can't seem to find much I like lately. There are a few particular fashion bugbears of mine that often ruin something I might otherwise like though, so I thought I would share them!

1. "Drop" or cut out shoulders. I really thought this trend would have died by now, but it has taken a hold something fierce in the U.K. Honestly, I just think they scream "middle aged" or "I'm hiding my flabby arms but here's a peek of my shoulder" and I just can't with them, they are very Atlantic City/the tackiest to me. Like, either wear sleeves or don't, it's not a crime to have unsculpted triceps. Maybe it's because I think they look horrible on me personally? The only time I have seen this look cute is on my Mom, she has all these gauze/boho outfits that are very Florida and they work there/on her. In the casual/lagen look area they sort of work, but like, bedazzled with rhinestones and glitter for a night out is my problem, also when they just cut out the shoulders of otherwise pretty blouses. Also what do they do with all of those cut out circles of fabric? Apologies if you like them, whatever floats your boat, defend why in comments, etc.!

2. OFF shoulder: Similar theme. Ok I actually think lots of people look adorable in off the shoulder. But like 80% of summer tops for sale here are off shoulder now, and it's not like we live in Ibiza, we live on a cold rainy island that is lucky to see 75 degrees in the summer (in Scotland anyway, I know the South of England gets hot-ish). Also how in the heck are we supposed to wear bras with them? Now I have to go shop for bras with cute bra straps because strapless bras are the ninth circle of hell! I don't know, they do just scream "holiday clothes" to me, it's kind of like ten years ago when everyone wore maxi skirts and wedges 24/7 in a bid to fool themselves we live in some balmy tropical land.

3. Asymmetric hems. For the love of all that's holy, why can't we quit with these atrocities? Whether it's a "mullet" or diagonal asymmetric cut, there is just always something unfinished looking about them to me.

4. Men in skinny jeans. Sorry, slight departure. But um...yes, I can't. Yes I'm old, but I genuinely think they are so often unflattering. They create crotch sag and flatten the butt and make thighs look weird and make boys/men appear to waddle like penguins because they can't actually put one leg in front of the other like a normal human. LUDICROUS. (I am also not a huge fan of skinny jeans generally/for me, but have grudgingly come round to very stretchy high waisted ones).

5. Flatforms. Sorry but super fug.

6. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SHORT? Sorry to shout! But seriously, from shorts to skirts/dresses, what is so wrong with the most flattering length for most everyone, knee/just below the knee? And midi skirts just don't work for me. I actually like my legs, why would I want to cut them off at the least flattering point? I do like long skirts but I don't always want to hide my legs away, especially if I've gone to the trouble of shaving them! ;-)

7. Rolled sleeves on t-shirts. You know who this looks cute on? James Dean/men who want their arms to look bigger. You know what part of my body I don't need to look bigger? The fattest part of my bicep. Yes, I am actually not shying away from trying to build more muscle at the gym, but also I want clothes that are cut to make me look feminine, especially when said clothes are already not super feminine, like t-shirts. But no ruffle sleeves on t-shirts either (I'm not that picky honestly ha ha!).

8.Gathered/ruched hems. Particularly on sleeves or tops. So many floaty hippy tops have them, all they do is balloon out/make you look pregnant, and then creep up your back when you are not paying attention, giving you an un-asked for crop top. WHY GOD? I caved and bought this top below for going on holiday last winter because I was desperate, knowing full well the ruching is not my friend  - and here you go, one balloon belly that is (mostly) not mine for posterity. Also my mom is breaking the asymmetric hem "rule" with her top but it looks cute on her/is really more of a skirt issue for me. Also how beautiful is Sarasota.

I don't even know what is happening with my hair here, it is in Florida freak out mode! Also why is my Mom so much cuter than me? :-) Also this was right before she crunched her brand new car oops good times! Also this is why I don't post vacation as a fashion shoot pics to the blog, my shorts are wrinkly and I always wear Birkenstocks, whatever. ;-)

Anyway, as you might gather, I could go on. These things are my worst offenders though (until I notice a new one!), and obviously just my personal opinion. Please feel free to come at me if you think I am wrong on any of these in the comments! ;-) How about you, do you have any annoying fashion things that make you never want to face the shops again? Why is it so haaaard (said in best first world problems whine).

2 comments

  1. Clothes right now seem to have all these weird embellishments and bizarre sleeves. HATE SO MUCH. I'm ok with a cold shoulder, but off the shoulder, no. I don't want to have to wear a strapless bra. And the ruffles! God, just kill me. But it is keeping me from buying so much, ha, so there is that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I can't with the ruffle/flamenco sleeves either, they are another weird thing that is suddenly on everything! #whycantwehavenicethings :-0

      Delete